Mention ‘obsessive relationships’ and most people immediately think of the sad demise of the poor bunny in Fatal Attraction. Ok, so that is probably an extreme example of an unhealthy obsessive relationship, but it is not that uncommon to come across people who turn into a crazed stalker after a few innocuous dates. So before you have to take out a restraining order against your new lover, learn how to recognize obsessive behavior in relationships!
Obsessive people are often insecure. They will typically bombard you with messages and telephone calls, even when you have already told them you are busy or unavailable. And if you don’t reply immediately, this type pf person will rapidly become irate and upset.
How to recognize obsessive behavior in relationships?
When you like someone, it is only normal to want to find out more about that person. Normal people ask questions during dates and show a reasonable level of interest in your life and everything about you. Obsessive types are more likely to spend hours researching every last detail about you on the Internet. So if a new partner confesses to trawling social networking sites and contacting your exes to find out more about you, be afraid, be very afraid…
Surprising you by turning up at your office unexpectedly can be romantic. On the other hand, turning up at your house at 11pm just because they missed you, is not. Particularly if you already told them you had plans that night. Beware the person who seems intent on hijacking every part of your life and tries to encroach on your family and friends within a very short space of time—such behavior is not healthy.
Showing an unhealthy interest in all aspects of your life is both obsessive and controlling. When a new partner starts making ‘helpful’ suggestions about your clothes, makeup, hairstyle and friends, it should set the alarm bells ringing loudly.
Beware the man or woman who declares undying love for you after only a few dates. Nobody is denying that it is sometimes possible to fall in love at first sight, but most of us need a little longer to decide if a person is worthy of our affection. However, obsessive types often go from first date to “I can’t live without you” in the blink of an eye. So if your new partner is threatening to kill themselves because you canceled a date, they are probably in the grip of an unhealthy obsession with you.
Sometimes it is not always obvious whether a new partner is being obsessive, so it is very important to listen to your gut feelings about the relationship. If you are flattered by your partner’s attention, then relax: they are just madly in love with you and everything is great. But if being the recipient of such a massive amount of attention is making you uncomfortable or unhappy, consider the possibility that your partner is an obsessive stalker with some serious issues.
Ending an obsessive relationship can sometimes be difficult, but never give in to suicide threats or worse. And if you feel in danger at any time, seek professional help immediately.